Flowers and Cigarettes
by Zero-A.C
Summary: Collection of fanfictions about Lili and Sasha. Not romance although I might someday write one, but mainly friendship and general and whatever comes to my mind. Please enjoy!
1. looking up

_Disclaimer: __I know I am insane, but not insane enough to claim the game Psychonauts as my own, so no it's not mine._

_Author's Note: Ok, I decided we definitely don't have enough Lili and Sasha centered fanfictions, so I wrote some xgx. Themes may vary, but will be mainly general and friendship. Oh, and somehow I seem to be fascinated with Sasha calling Lili "Miss Zanotto"(thought this was somehow cute). I think there will be a lot of mistakes, but I wanted to post it now as stress relief. Because my Laptop just decided to die and I needed to do something that would cheer me up. Like writing and posting fanfictions. Hope you enjoy it!_

_Warnings: none_

_Rating: K_

_Gen__re: General/probably friendship_

x x x

1. Looking up

It was probably the ten thousandth Braintumbler experiment they were doing. Raz was as always the guinea pig and stuck with his head against the machine that looked like an oversized hairdryer. Milla levitated serenely in the air, from time to time commenting on how long it took them to do this test and that they truly needed a break, before settling back to meditating. Sasha was working like always concentrated on the test, while Lili Zanotto assisted him, like she got used to over the past few years.

"Miss Zanotto." Sasha said, not looking up from his work. "Could you give me the file from the last braintumbler experiment?" With ease she telekinetically lifted the file from a large pile on one of the stairs and it floated over to Sasha. "Thank you." He took it from the air, opened it and started to compare the results with the new datas that were on his screen.

Even on first glance Sasha noticed a discontinuity between the last test and this one.

"No problem. Oh and Sasha?" Her voice interrupted his thoughts for a short moment.

"Yes?" He answered, but not looking up. His mind still occupied with the different results.

"I think by now you could call me Lili."

Sasha stopped in his work, startled. For the first time he looked up from his work and at the girl standing beside him, who was still concentrated on the screen in front of her. Just that Lili Zanotto wasn't a girl anymore.

Sasha nodded. "Right, Lili." He said hesitantly. The name tasted odd on his lips.

A small smile appeared on her lips. "Good."

He looked at the young woman besides him for a moment longer, before he turned back to the Braintumbler experiment.

END

x x x

_Author's note for this story: Well, I think this might be something that could happen to Sasha, not noticing how the world changes around him, until he one day looks up. But honestly, I have no idea what my intention with this story was. It came to me one night, wouldn't leave me alone and __for some reason confuses me like hell(which never happened before). Like always: please be aware that English isn't my native language and please feel free to review!_


	2. what people say

_Author's note: So here is the second one-shot. Please read and enjoy!_

_Warnings: None again_

_Rating: K_

_Genre: General/maybe humor, because it made me smile while writing_

What people say

Coach Oleander stormed inside the main lodge, visibly disgruntled, but this wasn't something new and so Sasha continued to read his newspaper in quiet. That wasn't so easy since Morry obviously started to talk rather loudly to himself. "That bloody girl!" He hollered and his voice echoed through the almost empty lodge. Sasha assumed that he was supposed to ask what was wrong, because Ford didn't seem to notice anything beside his Burgers. So much for reading the newspaper in quiet.

"Did something happen?" He asked, without looking up, as he had just found a really interesting article about a Braintumbler experiment in Austria.

The coach dropped on the bench at the other side of the table and started to rant. "I just wanted to give that Zanotto girl some advice for her next mission, but she didn't even listen. Who does she think she is? Of course …" at this point Morry's voice droned out, because Sasha found himself caught up in the article, which not only provided some valuable information on the newest Braintumbler, but was as well written in a really entertaining way.

"…and then she looked up from her book about _flowers_ and asked me what I just said. That's just incredulous, don't you think Nein? Hey, Nein!"

Sasha looked up from the article, trying to remember one single word of what Morry had just said. He came to the conclusion that he couldn't remember, but therefore he could recite the entire article. "I am sorry, Morry. I was a bit distracted," he said, pointing at the newspaper. "What did you just say?"

Oleander groaned and then, still visibly disgruntled, stood up. "And people say Razputin is a lot like you." He said gruffly and with that he left the lodge, leaving a somewhat confused Sasha alone with Ford and his Burgers.

END

x x x

_Author's note: Well, it is really short. And again I could imagine Sasha being like this, just getting distracted by something, while he should listen. Hope you enjoyed it and please feel free to review! _


	3. tightropes

_Author's note: ok, here you go, another chapter! And since Mongoose is the only one who has written a review so far, this one is for her xsmilex. Originally I wanted to write a late Christmas fic, but then first I had no time, then my PC broke AGAIN and then I got ill...so no christmas fic from me, or at least not until summer xgx. However, I hope you like it!_

_Warnings: uhm...evil clowns?_

_Rating: K , because of evil clowns?_

_Genre: General/Humor(because of the evil clowns?)/Friendship_

_x x x_

tightropes and clowns

Sasha and Lili could have never imagined that it was possible for them to hate Circus Clowns even more then they already did. That was before they had to enter the brain of one together with Milla and Raz. There were tightropes and trapezes and deep abysses everywhere and Lili had been kicked out of the mind after three minutes, because she had fallen off the tightropes one time too many.

Two minutes later Sasha followed her.

Of course Milla had no problem with the situation, since she was the mistress of levitation and Raz even seemed to enjoy this mission and said it was easy and he felt a bit like home. Sasha considered for a moment to shake some sense into the boy, but Lili was faster. After that and some more deadly glares towards Milla, several sarcastic answers and more blows to Raz' head delivered by Lili, the two Agents who enjoyed the mission stopped making fun of their partners.

Although Milla and Raz were now helping Sasha and Lili getting through the nightmare of tightropes, the mission was still simply annoying. Because not only had they to deal with tightropes and trapezes, but as well with small censors in clown costumes, who appeared out of nowhere and always exactly in the moment when they needed them the least. Finally it seemed as if they reached the only patch of solid ground in this godforsaken mind world, which resembled a large spiral winding its way through eternal nothingness. It seemed that here the former clear way of tightropes and trapezes parted into a way of tightropes and trapezes and a real, solid way plastered with several small clown figures who looked unbelievable tacky. Still, if given the choice, Sasha would prefer the solid way, because at least he could put his best power to use and PSI Blast the clowns away. He felt like he needed some stress relief anyways.

"Looks like there are two ways we could choose." Raz stated the obvious and Lili rolled her eyes.

"Oh really, I wouldn't have noticed." She said sarcastically, which Raz seemed to ignore or simply did not notice.

"I guess we have to split up then." Milla said calmly, while eyeing both ways with mild interest. "I would say Sasha and Raz are…", she started saying while gesturing towards the tightropes, as if she wanted to indicate that they should go this way, but before she could finish Raz interrupted her.

"Wouldn't it be better if Lili and I would make a team?"

"But Darling, since Sasha and I are the more experienced agents and you two are relatively new, it would be better if one of you went with one of us." Raz looked as if he wanted to protest, but Milla had already used her best motherly voice that told him not to argue with her. "So where was I? Right so you and Sasha…", she wanted to continue, but this time she was interrupted by Lili.

"No, Sasha and _I_ are taking the solid road and you two can handle the tightropes and trapezes." She said determined and was already taking some steps into the direction of the tacky miniature clowns.

"But Darling…"

"Uhm Lili…"

She spun around and glared at Milla and Raz. "What? You have a problem with that?" She asked challengingly and then, without even waiting for an answer, she looked at Sasha. "What are you waiting for? I don't want to spend more time in this stupid brain then necessary." With that she had already turned around and walked down the road. Sasha tried at least to look apologetically at Milla and Raz before following Lili and feeling definitely relieved.

"Thank you, Miss Zanotto." He said as he finally caught up with her. Lili simply shrugged.

"You hate this brain as much as I do, and I know if I have to spend just one more minute with Raz or Milla and their but-these-tightropes-are-so-easy attitude, I so would have set them on fire." She exclaimed while PSI-blasting several of the small clowns into pieces. A small amused smile appeared on Sasha's lips and he blasted the clowns Lili missed. "I can imagine."

"Honestly, if I see any more tightropes or trapezes in the next time, something is going to burn."

Sasha nodded, but his face turned into a serious expression. Something in this part of the brain made him feel uncomfortable. It was definitely too calm and until now nothing had happened. They hadn't even seen one sensor, which, in his opinion, was never a good sign. "I think we should be cautious. This road looks a bit suspicious." He commented and Lili snorted.

"Well I don't care if it looks suspicious. Nothing that can happen on this road can be worse than the rest of this brain."

As if this was the signal, Sasha heard an insane snicker behind him and the ground in front of them began to shake. He whirled around and saw that the small, tacky, lifeless clowns at the side of the road had started to move. In their direction. Armed with small knifes and small cakes. And an insane grin on their face. He blasted the first ones away and then he heard Lili curse loudly behind him and screamed at him to move. Just in time he found himself on the ground to avoid a really sharp and rather large sword and as he looked up he saw that the ground in front of them had burst open and that there was now a large hole. In front of the hole stood a big clown with bloody tears on his face, an even more insane grin then this of the small ones plastered on his face and a sword in one hand and a cake in his other. In short the entire scene even put Stephen Kings "It" to shame.

Sasha got up and immediately fell into his fighting stance, Lili at his side doing the same.

"You want to repeat that, Miss Zanotto?" He asked dryly, while trying to avoid a cake that was thrown at him and blasting the big clown at the same time.

"At least we don't have to deal with tightropes anymore." Lili said through gritted teeth, putting up her shield to block the large sword.

Sasha silently agreed, while he fended off some of the smaller clowns who wanted to stab his hand.

END

x x x

_Author's note: Hope you enjoyed it! As always feel free to write a review and constructive criticism on my writing style or grammar is always appreciated. _

_Something different: is it just me, or is the Psychonauts section dying out? The last time I've checked we have five new stories and no one wrote a review...and since I am lazy and tired all the time without having any time I only wrote one...but somehow this makes me sad. Because I like Psychonauts and we need more fanfictions! _


	4. end of world

_Author's note: Since I promised on my profile I would update "Of flowers and cigarettes" last week and I haven't done it, I decided to add two chapters. Although this one here is really short, confusing and somehow sad. Hope you like it anyways!_

_Warnings: none_

_Rating: K_

_Genre: Angst_

x x x

End of the world

It was Razputin or Agent Razputin or sometimes an irritated or exhausted Raz.

It was Milla or, depending on the situation or the person he was talking to, Agent Vodello.

It was Ford, Sir, Agent Cruller or something that fit whatever personality the former Grand Head was in.

It was Morry, or Morceau and when he was angry it was Oleander.

It was Boss, Grand Head Zanotto and sometimes when he was exasperated it was Truman.

It was their full first name or it was Miss or Mister and their last name or not, depending if he remembered the name of the campkid he was talking to.

It was never Lili.

It was never Agent Zanotto.

It simply never, never was.

It was always Miss Zanotto.

So when he approached her, skin even paler then usual, hands shaking and his hair unkempt, it wasn't any of this that made her freeze and ignited an overpowering and sudden fear that settled in her heart. It wasn't what let her know that something utterly horrible had happened. She had seen him in worse states, since she had been accepted as a Psychonaut by her father. It were the first three words he said.

"Miss Zanotto…Lili …"

It was never, never Lili.

It was _always_ Miss Zanotto.

Except this once and it was what initiated the end of the world she knew.

END

x x x

_Author's note: I think I somehow confused myself with this one...oh well...and again I just love the concept of Sasha calling Lili "Miss Zanotto" xsmilex._


	5. mind games

_Author's note: ...and another short one-shot for my two favourite characters from Psychonaut. This time a bit of a different view on their relationship._

_Warnings: none, except for Lili tricking Sasha into doing (and saying) what she wants._

_Genre: General/Humor_

_Rating: K_

x x x

Mind games

"It is not that I don't like you, Miss Zanotto." He stated and Lili raised an eyebrow.

"Really?" She asked sceptically. "Then why am I the only child here in Whispering Rock, who wasn't invited for advanced training?" she continued, setting the last two words into mental brackets.

"Because your father would fire me, put me into a mental institution and then kill me, if he finds out that I am conducting unauthorized tests on his only daughter, especially if they involve a cheap braintumbler." He explained, trying at the same time to concentrate on his latest experiment and to keep her out of his mind, so she wouldn't find the answer she was searching for.

"Oh and he won't do that if he finds out about the other children?"

Sasha lifted a hand to his chin and pretended to think about it for a moment. "No. After all they aren't his children."

Lili rolled her eyes. "Sure. So you want to tell me the only reason why you don't ask me to take part in the Braintumbler experiment is because of my Dad?"

"Exactly." He hoped that the conversation was over with this and he could get back to the test results. Of course Lili wasn't going to let him get away that easily.

"Well, that doesn't mean that you like me."

Sasha sighed, this was getting ridiculous…and he was running out of excuses. "Please Miss Zanotto be assured that I would protect you with my life."

Lili put a hand on her hips. "Oh, because you wouldn't do that for everyone else here. That is hardly answering my question if you like me or not."

Sasha grew weary of that discussion and almost thought about telling her the truth. "Please Miss Zanotto, what do you want me to say? You know you are to me like a niece, without, of course, being in any way related to your father and you mean as much as this to me." Wrong answer, he thought as Lili started to smile evilly.

"Does that mean I can call you Uncle Sasha?" she asked slyly and Sasha choked.

"Please, never call me this again, ever."

The evil grin didn't left her face. "But think about how delighted Milla would be when she hears it. Or what Coach Oleander would say." Sasha froze. This girl was surely as evil as her smile.

"Ok, what do you want?" He tried to sound casual, but failed miserably. Lili simply waved over to the Braintumbler. Sasha groaned, but prepared the experiment anyway.

"If your father ever finds out about this…"

"He won't." She said briefly. "Unless you tell him."

"You know," He said as his hands moved over the keys to activate the Braintumbler. "I truly don't like you, at all."

Lili simply smiled triumphantly. "I already know."

Sasha groaned. Damn psychic prodigies from psychic families.

END

x x x

_Author's note: I am still supposed to write a few things for university, but honestly, if you had the choice between a boring translation or writing fanfiction, what would you do? And since I already wrote this before and just needed to rewrite it a bit my decision was clear. Hope you liked it! (oh and I love Lili being slightly evil xsmilex)_

_Oh and special thanks to The Mongoose (again) for reviewing and as well to psychic-psycho! It always makes my day better to read such wonderful reviews, so thanks!_


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